Words Of Wisdom

"When you forgive, you gain peace. When you don't forgive, you gain haigh blood pressure." -Cited in Bits and Pieces

"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs - jolted by every pebble ikn the road." - Henry Ward Beecher

"Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened." -Winston Churchill

"Stretch your visions. See what can be, not just what is. Practice adding value to things, to people and to yourself." - Attributed to David Schwartz

"No change of circumstances can repair a defect of charcter." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow." - Swedish Proverb

"Worry is like a rocking chair. It will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere." - Vance Havner

"Denying r refusing to deal with some unpleasant fact in your life is the source of most stress and unhappiness." - Brain Tracy

The Desired Eulogy

Three friends die in a car accident, and upon their arrival t heaven, they are all asked, "When you are in your casket and family and friends are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?"
The first man says,"I would like to hear them say that i was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."
The second man says,"I would like to hear them say that i was a wonderful husband and a school teacher who made a huge diffrence in our children of tomorrow."
The last man replies,"I would like to hear them say, 'LOOK!HE'S MOVING!' "

Two Most Costly Drinks

On the last day of President Abraham Lincoln's life, the great emancipator said: "We have cleared up a colossal job. Slavery is abolished. After redonstruction, the next great question will be the overthrow and suppression of the legalized liquor traffic."
That evening, Mr.Booth stopped in a saloon, filled himself with liquor to nerve himself for his planned tragedy. That night Lincoln's bodyguard left the theater for a drink of liquor at the same saloon. While he was away Booth shot Lincoln. These two drinks were the most costly drinks in American history.

If You Drink

There is an advice from Western Voice magazine written two decades ago which is still practical:
If you are a married man who absolutely must drink whiskey, start a saloon in your own home. Be its only customer, and you won't have to buy a license.
Give your wife $20 to buy a gallon of whiskey; there are 69 glasses to the quart; buy your drinks from your wife at the present price per drink, fifty cents.
When the first gallon is gone, your wife will have $120 to put in the bank and $20 to start in business again. If you live 2 years, continue to buy whiskey from your wife, and then die with snakes in your boots. Your widow will have enough to bury you decently, bring up your children, marry a decent man and forget all about you.

Short,simple but TRUE!

Psychiatrist to patient: "You have nothing to worry about - anyone who can pay my bill is certainly not a failure."

Boat No.99

At a boat-rental concession, the manager went to the lake's edge and yelled through his megaphone, "Number 99, come in, please. Your time is up." Several minutes passed, but the boat didn't return. "Boat number 99." he said again hollered. "Return to the dock immediately or i'll have to charge you overtime."
Something is wrong here, boss," his assistant said. "We only have 75 boats. There is no number 99."
The manager thought for a moment and then raised his megaphone: "Boat number 66,"he yelled. "Are you having trouble out there?"